And There Shall be No Ice Cream
by ReferenceGoddess
Summary: Sulu thought it would be a nice, quiet day on the bridge.


And There Shall Be No Ice Cream

Standard Disclaimers. Characters aren't mine; the ship ain't mine, the Trek 'verse isn't mine - they all belong to some megacorporation that can send a cease and desist order at the time of their choosing. Pout.

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It was a quiet morning on the bridge, a little past the beginning of the first watch. The doors to the bridge swooshed open. Sulu could hear Captain Kirk relieve DeSalle from his post in the command chair (one day, thought Sulu, he would sit in a command chair; maybe on the Enterpirse herself)

"I saw in the morning report that the new navigation information was received. Have our files been updated, Mr. Sulu?" asked Kirk.

"FedSCOW and LOLAH," are loaded, sir," replied Sulu. Fortunately, Mr. Spock did not have the con; saying "Federation Sanctioned, Cautioned and Off-Limits Worlds" and "Lloyd's of London's Astrogational Hazards" as the Vulcan preferred was such a nuisance. It wasn't like anyone called them by their full names after the first week of helmsman training.

He had turned to give his report. He noticed the way the captain's brow furrowed as he sat down in his command chair. Sulu turned back to his station, giving Chekhov a warning look. Kirk was a great captain to serve under, no doubt. But Sulu knew that particular expression meant that Kirk was having one of his headaches. Junior officers with sense trod lightly when that happened. Even Doctor McCoy would think twice about drawing the Captain's ire (didn't mean he still wouldn't go ahead and do it, of course). Hmm, how to improve the Captain's mood? Sulu's eye scanned the new listings from FedSCOW. Ah, maybe this would work.

Sulu turned to Chekhov, and, pitching his voice just a bit louder than was necessary to talk to the navigator, said, "They added Platonius to the off-limits worlds list, I see."

"Toga-wearing Cossacks," muttered Chekhov. Sulu would not bother to correct Pavel. Togas were Roman, not Greek, but since neither were Russian (yet), it wouldn't matter to him.

Out of the corner of his eye, Sulu could see the Captain relax a bit. He thought he heard Kirk mutter, "about time." Sulu settled back in his chair, hoping that he had improved the Captain's mood enough to ensure a nice, quiet shift. Then the lift doors slid open, and his good work was undone in a moment.

"That is blasted cold-blooded, even for you," he heard Dr. McCoy's angry voice.

"Doctor, while the situation is not optimal, it is such that logic dictates," replied Spock's long-suffering tones.

McCoy exploded, "Logic! Blast logic! We are talking about people's lives here!"

Irritation started to make its subtle way into Spock's voice. "I suggest you return to your sickbay instead of disrupting the bridge with one of your illogical outbursts,"

"It is illogical to demand a better answer than what you've managed so far?" McCoy's voice was getting louder.

There was a loud smacking sound, and Kirk's annoyed voice rang out, "That is enough! Anymore of this and I'm turning this thing around, and there shall be no ice cream."

A very surprised Sulu spun around in his chair, to be greeted by a very strange sight. The captain's face was flushed, and his fist was still resting on the armrest he had just pounded. That was not odd; what was surprising were the two boys standing to either side of the command chair. The young Vulcan boy was standing ramrod straight, hands clasped behind his back.

"My behavior was most illogical, sir. I apologize for the lapse."

The other boy was Human, His head was bowed, and he seemed to be trying to dig a hole in the deck with the toe of his shoe.

"I'm sorry, suh," he drawled out. "Won't happen again."

Sulu was still looking at them in amazement when the navigation console started screeching, "Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!"

Sulu sat up suddenly. He was in his quarters, and the alarm clock (built for him by his kid sister, based on an early 21st century design) was yelling " Good morning! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!" in English and Japanese. He slapped the clock and said, "Lights. Sixty percent." The lights in his quarters came up. He shook his head; that had been one strange dream. He rolled out of bed, and plodded towards the bathroom.

That was it, thought Sulu. No more of Martinez's habernero supernova chili cheese chips on movie night. From now on, it would be buttered popcorn all the way.

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Just a bit of crack inspired by a paragraph in David Gerrold's "World of Star Trek", comparing Spock and McCoy to two quarellsome siblings


End file.
